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Location : Bound and gagged in the basement
Posts : 1556
Join date : 2009-03-24

Character sheet
Character Sheet: Myst

PostSubject: Women   Sat Feb 20, 2010 1:49 pm

Stolen from another forum.

Quote :
Women's Training Courses

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People>
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

The Women's Dictionary

This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel
they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means
that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word "fine" to
describe how she looks. It will lead to one of the arguments mentioned

2. Five minutes
These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the
five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take
out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade.

3. Nothing
The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard
immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and
backwards. "Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five
minutes" and end with the word "fine".

4. Go Ahead (Raised eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it actually means the
opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on
the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result
will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a
"five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."

5. Go Ahead (Normal eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it should not be confused
with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do
what you want because I don't care". It is normally precedes by a few
seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead", followed by
"nothing" and "fine". She will speak to you again in about "five
minutes" when she cools off.

6. Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of
communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently
misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you over "nothing"!

7. Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few
things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the
moment will last a bit longer.

8. Oh
This word - followed by any statement - heralds big trouble. For
example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If
she says "Oh" before a statement, just run - do not walk. She will tell
you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.

9. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a
man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's
okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised
eye browed "Go ahead". Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan
it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the
chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other
words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle
this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."

11. Thanks
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome".

12. Thanks A Lot
Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks". A woman will say
"thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually
followed by the "loud sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in
some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as
she will only tell you "nothing".

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
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Location : New York
Posts : 130
Join date : 2009-11-30

PostSubject: Re: Women   Mon Feb 22, 2010 1:06 am



~Thanks David!(Teh Pro Avatar-er)
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Location : Hells Yard
Posts : 22
Join date : 2009-07-27

PostSubject: Re: Women   Sat Mar 06, 2010 9:25 pm

ahahaha o.o' all is true
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